A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi found himself needing to urinate badly. After a long search he could not find any place to you-know, and eventually couldn't control himself and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself.
As soon as he had just started you-know-what, a Delhi police official approached him, "Hey, What do you think you're doing here?"
Pakistani tourist: "Sorry I have to Pee"
Police : "No PP here okay ? Follow me."
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.
Police: "PP here..... and have a nice day".
Pakistani tourist : "Oh Sir, ....... that's very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy?"
Police: "No.......this is The Pakistani Embassy!"
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Frog & Beautiful Girl
A lonely frog, desparate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"
"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."
The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"
"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."
LONG LIVE INDIA.....
A pilot makes an announcement to his passengers, "There's too much weight on the plane! Someone will have to jump!"
The English man jumped out yelling, "SAVE THE QUEEN!!" But the plane was still too heavy.
The Spanish man jumped out yelling, "SAVE THE KING!!" But the plane was still to heavy.
The Russian man jumped out yelling, "FOR THE MOTHERLAND!!" At this point the plane was only one person overweight.
The Indian picks up the Mexican and throws him out saying, "LONG LIVE INDIA"
The English man jumped out yelling, "SAVE THE QUEEN!!" But the plane was still too heavy.
The Spanish man jumped out yelling, "SAVE THE KING!!" But the plane was still to heavy.
The Russian man jumped out yelling, "FOR THE MOTHERLAND!!" At this point the plane was only one person overweight.
The Indian picks up the Mexican and throws him out saying, "LONG LIVE INDIA"
PIRATE
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said,
"Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
"Well, o.k.,but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight.
My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird shit."
"It was my first day with the hook."
"Hey, I haven't seen you in awhile. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
"Well, o.k.,but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight.
My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird shit."
"It was my first day with the hook."
CLEVER BLONDE
A blonde, a brunette and a red head were stranded at sea on a boat. It was 100 miles to the nearest land. The red head decides that she is going to try to swim the 100 miles. She makes it 25 miles before she gets too tired and drowns. The brunette tries to swim the 100 miles. She makes it 35 miles before she gets too tired and drowns. The blonde realizing that the other two have drowned tries to swim the 100 miles. She swims 50 miles, decides that it's too far, and swims back.
CLEVER WIFE
A woman finds a genie's lamp. The Genie comes out and says, "You may have three wishes, but your husband will get ten times more than what you wished for."
The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be ten times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"
"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish is granted.
Her second wish was that she would be the richest woman in the world. "You know your husband will ten times richer, right?" the Genie asks.
"That's okay. What's mine is his and what's his is mine," replied the woman. So the wish was granted.
The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.
The woman agrees. Her first wish was that she would be the most beautiful woman in the world. "You realize," the Genie said, "that your husband will be ten times more beautiful than you, and more women will gawk at him?"
"That's okay," says the woman, "He'll only look at me because I will be the most beautiful women." So the wish is granted.
Her second wish was that she would be the richest woman in the world. "You know your husband will ten times richer, right?" the Genie asks.
"That's okay. What's mine is his and what's his is mine," replied the woman. So the wish was granted.
The woman then thinks long and hard about her last wish. She finally wishes that she had a mild heart attack.
SPEED DRIVE
A man was driving on the highway and got pulled over for speeding. The cop got out and says, "Can I see your license, please?"
The man looks at him and says, "my license has been suspended."
Then the cop asks, "Can I see your registration."
"Oh," says the man, "I stole this car, but I think I saw it in the glove compartment when I put my gun in there."
"You have a gun?" the cops asks.
"Yeah," the man says, "I used it to kill the woman in thr trunk."
Hearing this, the cop rushes back to his car and alerts the chief who comes right over. The chief gets the man out of the car and asks for his license. The man gives it to him. Then he asks for the registration, which the man also hands over. Then the chief asks to see the inside of the glove compartment. Lastly, the chief asks to see what's inside of the trunk. He didn't find a gun or a body in the car, so he turns to the man and says, "I'm sorry. This officer called me and said that you were driving a stolen car without a license with a gun in the glove compartment and a body in the trunk."
"And I bet he also told you I was speeding," he man says.
The man looks at him and says, "my license has been suspended."
Then the cop asks, "Can I see your registration."
"Oh," says the man, "I stole this car, but I think I saw it in the glove compartment when I put my gun in there."
"You have a gun?" the cops asks.
"Yeah," the man says, "I used it to kill the woman in thr trunk."
Hearing this, the cop rushes back to his car and alerts the chief who comes right over. The chief gets the man out of the car and asks for his license. The man gives it to him. Then he asks for the registration, which the man also hands over. Then the chief asks to see the inside of the glove compartment. Lastly, the chief asks to see what's inside of the trunk. He didn't find a gun or a body in the car, so he turns to the man and says, "I'm sorry. This officer called me and said that you were driving a stolen car without a license with a gun in the glove compartment and a body in the trunk."
"And I bet he also told you I was speeding," he man says.
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